Taco Frito Empanadas!

Why Yes, I do like to theme cook! I theme dress, theme drink and theme party, why not theme cook too? On Tuesdays we TACO…..or some version of something “taco like”.  I serve Mexican beer or we take tequila shots and sometimes I wear my tiny sombrero. Its mucho adorkable. This week I made taco empanadas with fritos and ranch beans…..and it was a bitchin success! I made 6 and it fed 3 with 2 for the first mate to take to work the next day. This shit was so easy… even a white girl can do it! Most empanadas are of Latin origin, have a pastry shell, and either a savory or a sweet filling. As you know, I am a savory wench. A lot of empanada recipes have cheese inside it.. I don’t like to do that because when reheating them, the cheese gets fucking weird. So I made a chipotle queso sauce to smother these fuckers with. Also, no taco type substance is complete without an avocado element. Hence, HOLY GUACAMOLE! (not included in this post) The minion was all “I don’t like the yellow things” and I was all…”suck it up and eat it or starve!”  Long story long… the crew didn’t starve, and will survive to fight another day thanks to Captain D’kay and her taco frito empanadas!

……in-greed-ients:

• 2 thawed pie pastrys (comes with two per box usually)
• some flour – to keep things from getting sticky
• 1/2 lb lean ground beef
• 1/2 can rotel with chilies
• 1/2 can golden hominy
• 1/4 diced white onion
• some minced garlic
• 1/2 cup fritos- crushed (like when chang crushes fritos in OITNB…if you have seen that one)
• taco seasoning mix-powder
• 2 green jalepenos – diced and deseeded 
• 1 can RANCH BEANS – that’s right.. because this is MY WAY damnit! 
• 1 egg
• 1 tbsp taco sauce

…….Dama El Grande Queso!:

• 1/2 cup sharp cheddar
• 1/2 cup monterey jack 
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1 tbsp flour
• smoked chipotle powder
• garlic powder

…… Taco magic: 

1. pour evoo in a large deep pan
2. brown onions for 2 minutes then add garlic
3. add beef and taco seasoning – brown
4. add rotel and hominy
5. smash ranch beans in a bowl with a potato masher- HULK SMASH!
6. a round of tequila shots for you, yourself and your other hand.  You deserve it!
7. roll out pie dough on floured surface
8. cut out rounds as big as your hand (makes about 6 depending on your size- I put my hand down and make a circle around it with my blade)
9. press scraps together and make more rounds – it’s easy if you try.
10. spoon some beans onto the middle of each round
11. spoon some beef mix onto the middle of each round
12. top with some crushed fritos 
13. fold over and press down on sides with fingers
14. fork around the edges to seal
15. pour some taco sauce in a small bowl and whisk with egg- it gives the crust a shiny brown finish. 
16. egg wash the whole thing with a brush
17. poke some holes to release pressure with a fork
18. I like to make shapes with the left over dough and stick them on with egg wash… like hearts, stars, and skulls like this one that is in the mail on it’s way to me. It will be mine!… skull cookie cutter
19. bake these beaners for about 15 – 20 min depending on how golden you like them. I like my crispy and brown
20. take a shot of Tequila!

Beaners

Beef mix

Empanada fixins

………cheesy magic: 

1. heat butter in a small sauce pot
2. add flour to make a paste
3. whisk in milk
4. add cheese 
5. add chipotle and garlic seasoning
6. bathe your tongue in this cheesy goodness! Drench the empanadas with this golden love sauce. 

Tequila

sad face

Empanadas

…..Holy Guacamole! 

This, I must divulge in another post… can’t give away all my secrets in one day!  You can either make your own or buy some store crap until then….Tequila Shot! Drink up me hearties yo ho! 

Me with my Tiny Sombrero